Welcome Shadow.

Sad that you continue to lie. To me, to yourself and to people around you. Frustrated that you choose that life over this one. Sad that you still cannot be honest with me. Sad that you try to turn it around and put your shame and issues on me. I don’t take it on. That’s your stuff. I’ve been open, honest and raw with you only for you to continue to be dishonest, non committal and fake with me, yourself and others. It’s sad this addiction you have and I hoped this would be a turning point for you, for me and for us but you choose that sickness and not to work but to run. That makes me sad for you. We had something good and could have been incredible but you turned your back when the road got to rocky and you choose the easy path. The path that is familiar and yet so dangerous and ultimately leads to a life of loneliness and lies. I’m sad for you tonight. Sad that you can’t see past your addiction like I could and see the true man standing behind his shadow. I was willing to support you and I’ve watched you grow but it wasn’t enough. I keep thinking it’s me I’m not enough but I know better. I get addiction I work with it every day I’ve struggled with it myself. I understand that you have a choice to make and you choose your disease. I hope that someday you wake up and seek help and will let someone in. That you let your guard down and let someone love that little boy inside you that so desperately needs to be loved and taken care of. I know this isn’t possible until you can love yourself and I don’t believe you are doing that. I believe you had an opportunity and you bailed. You ran back to what’s comfortable. I’m sad that even today when confronted with your behavior you choose to try to blame me and make it about me. It’s not about me. It’s about you and your illness. I see an incredible man that is capable of so much more. I’m sorry that your addiction is leading you back down that path. I wish I could stop it but you don’t want help at least not mine. I wish you could see it. Living in that shadow does not have to be the end all. But I’m fearful for you it will be. I love you and wish you the best.