Your Smell

Tonight while gathering laundry I found your shirt. I can't bring myself to wash it because it has your smell. Intoxicated by the smell of you and amazed at how your smell can bring back so many memories. I can remember when you wore it last and remember that night so clearly.. I miss your smell and your touch and the comfort I felt in your arms. I miss holding you and comforting you and kissing you. I miss hearing your voice and smiling at the thought of getting to see you and smiling when you would pop into my head throughout the day. The way we could finish each others thoughts and the fun we had on our trips and our conversations laying in bed. The Sunday I returned from my warriar weekend laying there for hours just talking and crying I will remember that always. I used to try to explain to you the way you smelled you would laugh at me but then you would leave t-shirts on the pillow next to me when you had to leave in the mornings for me to snuggle with like I used to do with my boys when they were puppies. I feel like a puppy when I'm with you. Happy, giddy, playful. I miss you. I'm in a good place remembering good times and comforted by my prayer time this morning. I trust it's all going to be ok and I realize I might not get what I want but I am ok with allowing God to work out the details. I'm trusting the process today. I'm feeling my feelings as they come and trying to acknowledge them and move forward. I prayed for you today. That God would send comfort and peace your way. I prayed that he would wrap his big loving arms around you and comfort you as well. I don't know what you are feeling or how you are doing but I Love you and hope you are well and taking care of yourself above all else. I want nothing but good things for us both and hope that this is just a temporary break but again realize there's a bigger plan and am comforted tonight by the love I feel from God and all the incredible people I have that support and love me. I'm comforted by your smell and the incredible memories we made in such a short time. I'm hopeful and at peace. I saw Eat, Pray, Love tonight and one of the lines was when you think of me send love and light and then let it go. I'm working on doing just that. I want love and light to guide you. I hope that we are guided back to one another but if not I know that I will be ok.