Ramblings for a friend.

I find myself wishing for a life filled with honesty, love and compassion. Hearing a friends story recently got me to thinking exactly what do we know for sure. For me I used to think I had all the answers and if you talk to some of my friends they might still call me a know it all but as I get older I find myself questioning more often and looking past what is visible and trying to see deaper into people. Their inner selves if you will. Sometimes I'm surprised at what I find both good and bad. I have always been a person that questions good things that come my way and have problems accepting positive feedback or regard. I'm working to change this in my life and my want for all of us myself included is to be able to see ourselves the way others see us or they way God intended us to be. My friend's relationship ended after six years because her partner was keeping secrets and hiding things from her. I'm not sure why anyone would continue in a relationship and risk hurting someone if they were interested or participating in things outside of that relationship. What it boiled down to was her partner was keeping people seperate on Facebook and you all know my opinion on facebooks privacy settings.. In case you don't I'm not a fan. I get it sometimes you want to keep work seperate from private and family seperate from friends but my question is and has always been if you find yourself having to apologize or hide something from someone it's probably best to not do whatever that is in the first place. As well as keeping a seperate phone and email accounts and who knows what else. That said i've been sad since this happened to someone I care about and sad that I thought I new her boyfriend and was surprised to find out all the deception that had been taking place. It makes me question what I really know about people and if I can truly trust my instincts. I have to say I have pretty damn good instincts but I guess because he was such a likeable loveable guy. I'm sad for my friend and sad for her boyfriend as well. He is hurting because he is realizing just how much damage he has done not only to the relationship but to her and the amount of issues she will have going forward because of his actions. This is something I can identify with having been in that situation myself with a man that lied and cheated on me multiple times. I have to say I am encouraged by her strength and determination to follow through with ending that relationship. I said I would never put up with some of the things I did in fact put up with and think it takes great courage to do what she is doing. I hope that if you read this you know what an incredible person you are and I know have thoughts that this is somehow your fault but no matter the situation we all have choices to make and have to be prepared for the consequences. If you truly love someone you don't actively do things to hurt them and if it's a behavioral issue or habit you recognize it quickly and change it. Easier said then done I know but life is challenging and anything good is work and worth working for that's always been my opinion. I guess what I'm saying is think before you act, ommission is a lie and think about the consequences and fall out. I learned through therapy years ago to know say things I would have to apologize for later which I make it a practice to adhere to that policy to the best of my ability. I also take it a step further and make it a practice to not DO things I will have to apologize for either. Girl I love you and am here for you and hope this rant helps. It's all stuff we've talked about already and I appreciate you giving me the ok to blog about it. You'll get through this.. Much Love.