Bi-Polar

An update for my loyal followers…

Things have been good. My emotions have been all over the place up, down, all around. I’ve got lots of support but at the same time feel like I don’t have any. I’m happy but sad, sad but happy. I feel like some of my friends have taken sides when really there aren’t sides to be taken. I’m sad about that. This is un-chartered territory for me. I find myself reflecting back on good and bad times thinking something is missing but at the same time excited about the peace I feel. I huge part of me wants to skip ahead to the next chapter but I know it’s important to finish this chapter. I listen to disco music and feel happy and want to dance then I flip over to Adele and feel sad and think about love and the future and what it holds. My big sister said something to me a while back at the beginning of this. She said life is better with someone to share it with. That was powerful to me. Simple but powerful. She also said that love hurts and at the time she was in a tremendous amount of pain and said no matter what the pain was worth it and didn’t ever want to love any less. Not sure if any of this makes sense. Does in my mind but I’ve also been up for 17 hours and am exhausted.

I guess my point if I have to make one is things are good. I feel bad that I don’t feel worst but I don’t and things are good. They are different and as I stated up and down but mostly just different which is not a bad thing today.

I’m hopeful about the future. I hope things work out the way I think they should and I’m keeping my fingers crossed that all this has been for a reason and I’m thanking God for keeping his protection over me and for putting people in my life that support me and love me and for his amazing humor! Yes God has a sense of humor!

I hope the timing is right this time!

With that I’m out! Reading back over this I think maybe I’m bi-polar! J

Peace Out! ~J