Spiritual Funk

I think I'm in a Spiritual Funk. What does that mean? I talked earlier about feeling out of balance and I think I'm really missing the Spiritualality I used to have and felt so strong. God is so awesome though because he never leaves us.. We leave him. I don't feel like I've left God but I have absolutly put him on the back burner which is not cool. I want to rediscover my Spirituality and operate in it like I used to. I was very happy and felt more balanced back then but honestly I have to re-evaluate what my Spirituality looks like again. God is good and I'm putting him back on my list. I talk with my clients often about Spirituality and how important it is and it's so exciting to see them get excited about it. So many of my clients like myself have gone through "Religious Abuse" (Sub-Clinical) I like to call it meaning they grew up in homes where they were forced to go to Church and forced to believe what was being taught to them and told they were going to Hell if they sinned. It's such a sensitive subject to most and people get so turned off and shut down and one thing God has shown me over the years is that I have lived this and can help others. This is not to toot my own horn but people can see it in me at times and tell me they see it.. But I'm sad to say I've gotten really good at turning it off when I don't want to deal with it. Is it possible to turn off God?? I don't think so.. I think part of my addiction is my ability to manipulate. I can't manipulate God but I've gotten great at manipulating my thoughts. I had a really incredible therapist tell me once to write a positive affirmation in my bathroom mirror and see myself surrounded by it daily. The affirmation was "I am a powerful man of God" I thought it was really silly but I did it anyways and it was really powerful. It amazes me as I type how much I pull from my own experiences and share with my clients without even realizing it sometimes. I need to practice these things to get back on track. My friend Carolyn who I admire so very much is always encouraging me to operate in my gifts. She has operated in her's as long as I've known her and Oh My God I can't believe how incredible her life has become as a result. I don't want to operate in them thinking i'm going to get something out of it but the truth is I will and do. It all boils down to I've gotten lazy in the Spirit! If you are still reading this you are probably laughing at me but I get a mental picture of sitting on the sofa watching some goofy movie and eating Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie!
I think another huge part is when my friend Casie took her almost two years ago I got so angry and confused because she called.. I didn't answer my phone... She died. I think that was a turning point for me and I haven't recovered. I need help.. Clinical, Chemical.. I'm not sure..